Define "chronic" masturbator.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
