his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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