the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The best revenge is premature balding
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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