she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
