Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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