halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize