Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
