we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
