My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
