Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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