check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
