3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can text with my tongue
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
