New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
