I hope mine doesn't look like that
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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