fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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