Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
