You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
