my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
