I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
