Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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