yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize