I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
