How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
