Can Purell be used as lube?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
