debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
