Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
