i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
