"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You are a genius and a whore.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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