Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize