If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
