I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
