This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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