Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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