I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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