I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
