don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
