I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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