He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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