I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
