What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
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Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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