this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
