so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
