You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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