I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
