my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
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Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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