she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I could fuck to npr.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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