sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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