$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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