Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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