i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
