Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
