ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
