He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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