Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
