hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
