you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
