haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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