The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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