please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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