Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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