Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
