I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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